“Whats going on in your mind ?” – asked Vivid, in one of the last few comments.
I wish I could give you the right answer. For most of the last 7 days, my mind has been like a circus. Different thoughts are jumping around and crossing each other as on a trampoline. The first few days were the toughest, since it took time for the news to sink in and to acknowledge that I need to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. The admit had brought home the reality that I now needed to get my acts together.
So, the thoughts mainly responsible for my unusually puzzled state were/are –
a) How will I manage the relocation with my wife and kid. Will my wife be able to work – chances seem dull. Will we able to manage the finances if none of us work?
b) Is it wise to give up the Indian MBA during these troubled times? What if I don’t end up with a job? How much debt can we manage? Wouldn’t an Indian mba be better if I have to head to India immediately and search for a job? How will Emory’s brand help in India?
c) What about Kellogg? and Ross and Tuck? What if I do manage to get an admit? Would I not be torn then?
Again, what has helped to wade through such worries is the fact that I am absolutely confident that Emory is a place I would be happy at. That, and the scholarship. It answers all the burning questions in my mind and is probably the difference between me finally going for an MBA in the US and giving up due to the hellish situation for MBA applicants.
The first thing I did was to bug every student I could contact at GBS. I was so anxious to understand what they feel about the whole situation that I now think I overdid it. Still, the great and helpful people that they are, I hope they’d understand. Their optimism despite the cruel markets has been very reassuring.
So, its not been a question whether I would go to GBS or not – thats something that I just knew the moment I got accepted. Its been more about how would I make it work out and deal with the other concerns thats been bothering me ever since.
Deciding to move to US with a family in these conditions with every bit of uncertainty regarding the future requires courage. I’m trying to garner as much as I can. I am overwhelmed, and have mixed feelings about my wait lists. I’m still going to try; but sorry, I don’t think I would be able to afford you. Its not about being practical. Its about not being rich enough to be impractical. I say that with a heavy heart which is about to break.
I hope I take the right decision. Or have the belief and courage to turn it right.