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October 7, 2008

to see which way the pendulum of this journey swings, and where it rests.

I’ve been giving myself some respite from the process by taking a week long break. A lot has been done, but a lot more remains. I need to refine my Tuck essays, submit the application, and have also noticed just last week that they require the scholarship+ fin aid applications submitted now itself! And guess what, that becomes one more essay to write!! Never before have the faculties of my mind undergone more trouble in recent times. After returning to some form of sanity and having a great weekend with my family in months, I just can’t bring myself to continue further! The idea of reducing my life to 300 words/500/1 page/2 page/double-spaced/etc. is not something that you would want to do repeatedly. Still, its a long road ahead. To borrow from a friend’s status on Gtalk –

‘The pain of discipline is nothing compared to the pain of disappointment’

Thats way too much pain we’re talking about, not something that I can endure any longer. And like another applicant commented,

‘It hasn’t even begun yet!!’

So I vow to go back and work on those darned essays from tommorrow. Duke, don’t worry, I’ll begin looking at you sometime very soon!

My recommenders are doing a fabulous job(at least in submitting on time!). One of them has a penchant for writing all of them together, so he’s yet to make his first submit. I hope I can talk some sense into him tommorrow. The other person is just the kind of recommender I could have asked for. He submits every recommendation bang 2 days before the deadline, so I hope he’ll submit Ross soon.

The one instance when I have read my essays AFTER they were submitted has not been pleasant. The thought that I should have written everything differently and churned up better essays crossed my mind with almost every sentence and paragraph that my eyes glanced through. So in case you feel overjoyed at having submitted an application and intend to take a long deserved break like I had taken now, re-reading your essays can be a perfect recipe for sobriety.

The admits have begun.

Whatever little interest I had in my work has completely been dowsed by these mba applications. So there’s no going back for me. Come december, and I plan to resign. The only thing that can prolong that would be an admit. Mr. manager, are you listening ? Start praying, cos its in your good interest that I make it to the B School! And like you like to say – I want it ‘asap’!!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Musings permalink
    October 7, 2008 7:30 pm

    Tell me about being ecstatic after a submit and then finding a zillion “if only”s after that!

  2. Rahul permalink
    October 14, 2008 6:03 pm

    I connect with every sentiment that you have shared. Its going to be a long winter my end too. wish you great luck and keep writing!

  3. ahembeea permalink*
    October 14, 2008 9:04 pm

    Rahul – thanks, and atb to you. Lets hope that this winter makes our following summer the coolest ever!

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