My List (final)
Q. When the **** will you come up with your final list of schools ?
A. I have. The one today is the final one.
Q. Oh is it ? You say ‘final’, but the list has always been changing !
A. Umm.. I’d say, evolving is the word.
Q. Evolving, my foot ! Anyways, lets get down to it and check your list.
A. Yes, here it comes.
Q. Cmon, out with it !! Whats taking you so long ?
A. Yes, well its almost final. I’m just not sure whether to include one more school in the list, as there are some biggies in my list..
Q. Listen man, stop this nonsense. Either show your list NOW, or do something more worthwhile than blogging about it.
A. Ok, since you insist.
IIMC PGPEX – 31st July
IIMA PGPX – 11th Aug
ISB – 15th Sept
INSEAD – 1st Oct
KELLOGG – 3rd Oct/17th Oct
WHARTON – 9th Oct
ROSS – 10th Oct
TUCK – 15th Oct
DUKE – 27th Oct
Q. WTF is this ? Did I ask you about the dates ? Didn’t I ask you to just show me the LIST ?
A. Enough ! I don’t care what you want. The dates are also an important criteria for me, and I’ve been looking at a longer list of schools with respective dates to categorize them in R1 and R2 etc. You have the list now in front of you, let me know your comments if any, else get the **** off.
Q. Hmm. Are they in order of preference ?
A. Not really. If you care to notice, they are in chronological order in terms of application deadlines.
Q. And what if I ask you the order of preference ?
A. Ok here goes –
IIMA PGPX – 31st Oct
IIMC PGPEX – by 15th Nov
ISB – by 20th Nov
INSEAD – 19th Dec
DUKE – 19th Dec
TUCK – 19th Dec
WHARTON – 22nd Dec
KELLOGG – 7th Jan
ROSS – 15th Jan
Q. And this, I reckon, are the decision deadlines ?
A. You bet, pal ! You aren’t as bad as I thought you are. Have you considered pursuing an MBA ?
Q. Stop your shitty jokes and lets get serious. I’m here to help you, but it’ll work only if you answer accurately. I asked you the order of preference, didn’t I ?
A. Yes you did. And the order of preference becomes valid only ONCE I get through, not before that ! Hence I’ve given you the dates by which I’ll know if I’m through, and accordingly decide.
Q. Whats your criteria for the US B Schools in your list ? Wharton seems like a misfit among the 5.
A. I might end up going only to Wharton ! So yes, in that case, it’ll be a misfit compared to the other 4 !!
Q. Ok jokes apart, have you seriously given a thought while preparing the list ? What are the parameters you have considered ?
A. Do you think I’ve been fooling around all these days ? I want to join a school which favours a relatively higher work ex, is a super brand, has a general management orientation, is collaborative in nature, and a good support for my family.
Q. What do you think, you’re going on a holiday ? What about your career prospects ?
A. Rest assured, that’ll be taken care of if I get through any of these schools.
Q. You sound like a damn loser with no focus at all ! Why will these schools be inclined to accept you ? What is in it for them ?
A. We’ll park this question for now, and take it up again once I’m in.
Q. You don’t get it, do you ? Ok tell me, why these schools, and not others ?
A. I don’t think I can handle more than these schools in one shot. There are some other schools which I’ll consider for R2 – Chicago, Darden, Judge, Oxford, UNC/Emory, UCLA. I really liked Yale as well. I would have had UCLA in my first list too, but they are adamant on a TOEFL from Indian applicants, which I am in no mood of taking anytime soon !
Q. No, what I meant is, whats common across these schools ?
A. The fact that I am applying in all of them !!
Q. Don’t get on my nerves ! Can you justify your choices, and why not any other xyz school ?
A. Why do you need a justification for everything ? Anyways, let me give you a quick one – the Indian schools are self explanatory, Insead is a fantastic programme for me with relevant work ex and saves a year. For USofA, I just can’t rest in peace without having a shot at the biggies, so in comes Wharton. Duke, Tuck & Ross are all able to convince me more than the other schools to have them in my list. For the fifth one, I’ve squeezed Kellogg in. I might have gone for UCLA or Yale instead, but UCLA wants a bloody TOEFL, and the selectivity at Yale is lower !
Q. I see no basis in your selection of schools. Have you done any research ?
A. Yes, I’ve browsed the net for like, hours and days and weeks !
Q. You fool, thats what you call research, eh ? Take my advice, get out of the net, and try a bit of ‘network’ instead. Speak to students, alums, people who have an idea about these schools !
A. I would rather begin my ‘work’ on applications than stressing this too much. Let me tell you this – I personally don’t know anyone who’s doing an MBA from either Insead or US, and I have enough sense to understand that each of these programs will meet my expectations and I’ll not fret upon my decision. Take a hard look at my list of schools – do you think I can go wrong with any of them ?
Q. Haven’t ppl told you already ? Your whole basis of selection is wrong, your whole approach sucks ! First be clear about your goals and vision and then use this MBA as a bridge to reach there..
A. Cmon, I thought you had some sense. A bridge leads you only from A to B. Instead, I’m going to enjoy the open waters below the bridge and swim in the direction in which I want. I might also simply ‘sail through’ !
Q. You are done for. If thats your thought process, then nobody can save you from drowning yourself.
A. Hah ! You don’t know me yet. The only thing I need to drown myself now in are the thousand essays that I need to produce !
Q. Hmm ok. Listen, I’m your friend, ain’t I ? Tell me, which essays are you going to begin with ?
A. Yes, thats a good question. I’m already late. Let me check out all the essays and will then tell you how I’ll go about completing them.
Q. Well, to be honest, I don’t like the way its going so far, but wish you all the best and good luck with your essays.
A. Trust me, you’ll like it very soon. I just need to get started on the essays and things will be smooth.
Q. Great, I’ll be watching out for you. Hope you stop ‘joking’ around, and succeed in your plans.
A. Cmon ! Do I look like a guy with a plan ??!!